You know those people who are like "me and my boyfriend broke up but I wish him the best"

They are fucking liars. Like, fuck that. I hope he loses his job, gains a significant amount of weight, is lonely for 10+ years, unsuccessful, and finds himself in five years crying in bed about the fact that he lost me and that I'm a lot happier than him.

I wish them the worst in life, and if that makes me a total bitch, thats okay with me

So last night/this morning (3am, whatever work it out)

I can this great idea for a porn movie and here it is:

Mary Antoinette look-a-like chick being slutty and whatever else porn stars do.

Are you all ready for the title?????
Let them eat cock

Its significantly less funny now that I've typed it out and people will assume I usually get thoughts like that, but whatever, you're all jealous of my creative mind

Cool phone conversations with our internet provider

Woman at Slingshot: Hi, Wesley? Is that who I'm speaking to? We recieved an email from you earlier and were just following that up. We tried to contact you earlier today about it

Me: Oh yeah! Hi, yeah its me. I heard the phone ring but I was masturb-DISTRACTED

On a totally different note, check out my hair cut!

People seem to forget it,

but there is no easier way to make someones day than paying them a compliment, seriously, one little compliment. I was thinking about it the other day, and being an avid food lover, I compared it to eating, (note, I'm typing this with no real intent to post it so if I end up publishing this post it will be a little badly written). Getting back to the point, compliments are like food in the sense that (stick with me here, this idea is easier to think than to type) but when we're hungry, we want food, and what do we do to get food, we make an effort to get it. Its the same with compliments, if someone is feeling a little bit low, they want some sort of recognition that their existence matters, I am in no way saying that someone is going to go to McDonalds and ask for a compliment combo with a side of flirting, but they want some sort of assurance that what they are doing is appreciated.

As a test to prove this theory correct,I complimented a few people, and this was my favourite one, because it was to someone who totally deserved to be fed one.

At my work there is a girl that often comes in by herself to see movies, I'm going to call her Rachel, because all the Rachel's I know more or less fit this description, she quiet, well mannered, and really easy to deal with, however, last friday night she came in with a group of girls who were clearly a lot more outgoing/confident than her. One girl (who was in my opinion, the slut of the group, who I'm naming Bianca) made a joke about Rachel being ginger, Rachel quickly went quiet, her face turned red, and she seemed a lot less happy to be there. So when she came up to the counter to ask for her ticket, I asked her who does her hair, and how much she thought it'd cost to get mine to that colour, because I thought it looked fantastic. Her friends quickly shut up, and Rachel seemed really happy that someone had noticed something unique about her and instead of putting her down for it, applauded her on it. When Bianca came up, she seemed extremely confident that I was going to compliment her on her beauty, or her hair, or something else any generic heterosexual male would usually say to her, I'm assuming it'd be some awful pick up line along the lines of "Hey, when the movie finishes can I take you out in my car and we can go for a ride" or something ridiculous like that, I gave her the ticket, and said "next please", she seemed shocked at the idea of Rachel being more appealing than her, so I've decided to label the Bianca's of the world: Over eaters. I don't mean that they're morbidly obese or something like that, I'm talking about the compliment side of this post, which is taking so much longer to write that I had anticipated, anyway, she's ~eaten~ so many compliments that she just expects them, where as girls like Bianca are the under eaters, again, with compliments, not food, she hasn't had enough compliments, and she's genuinely the  nicest customer I serve.

When I came back yesterday to work, my boss beckoned me into her office, and told me that Rachel had thanked her for hiring such wonderful staff, especially me, which to be honest felt freaking awesome, knowing that one sentence could've made such a lovely person so happy. Basically what I'm getting at (in an extremely long and slightly confusing way) is this, why don't you feed someone a compliment, just one, and see how fantastic it is to see the look on their face when they catch sight of your meal.

Fuck, I sound like a total twat with all this "compliment combo" shit, but you get my drift, be nice to people!

Forgot to mention it (I think)

But I started working a second job a few weeks ago at a new cinema in Howick called the Monterey, the only people that ever really come in are old people and stoner kids wanting choc tops, but its great!
Turns  out a girl I walked in a runway show ages ago is working with me, which is awesome because usually the stoners who want food ask her because she's hot and they think they have a chance with her.
But anyway, I've been crazy flat out working, which is a lot more difficult than you'd think working at a cinema would be.

The reason I actually made this post was to show everyone (and by everyone, I mean the two followers I have - to my knowledge) my uniform, which I realized about a minute ago is in the was. So I guess I'll have to show you some other time.

Basically, its me in a nom*D dress shirt, Zambesi pants (which my boss dislikes because the front of them are a shiny polyurethane and the back are cotton, but she told me on my first day to wear "poly-cotton black pants" which these TECHNICALLY are), a Rick Owens vest, my black Dr Martens, and an apron which I wear as a skirt the majority of the time.

I'll put a photo up when the apron is dry.
And sorry to anyone who reads this for disappointing you over the last few weeks about not posting regularly, I'll get better I promise!

ALSO

BEHOLD MY NEW SCARF!!!!!!!!!!

I bought a new shirt today

Its from the new Zambesi collection, and its beautiful, and I'm totally going to have to starve for the next two weeks to pay it off, but its worth it.
Will post a photo of it when I get it, which will hopefully be soon

as you can tell i'm really excited about valentines day

God I hate those cunts

who are all "i hate valentines day because its the one day guys treat girls like princesses when they should be treated like that everyday", like bro shut the fuck up

no one asked you for your bullshit fake ass opinion while you try to subtly try to convince us that you treat girls with respect and blah blah blah

i don't give a fuck about what you do with your princess girlfriend or how you treat her because its probably a giant fucking lie and the only reason you are saying shit like that is because you are desperate to get sex from some needy bitch that you promise to treat like a princess

either that or you are fucking gay as fuck